Tag: parenting

Categories
meta

The Game-Changer

It’s been quiet here on the site lately as the game has changed. I’m four weeks into fatherhood, and those four weeks feel more like ten.

I’ve been trying to come up with an easy way to explain to others what being a new parent is like. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Living with a nooborn is like setting a kitchen timer on a two to three hour schedule that never stops resetting. Change a diaper, feed, comfort, put baby to sleep, knock a few things out around the house, rinse, repeat. It does not stop.

And there are the fussy times when you lose confidence in your ability to parent — can I soothe this baby? Maybe mother can try. Maybe this will work. Maybe not. These times make me realize just how little I’ve appreciated my own parents (Thank you mom and dad!).

And then there are the moments where she grins from ear to ear or unequivocally meets your eyes with hers. The pride and joy that springs from these moments is profound.

Everyone tells you “your life [as you know it] is over.” They’re right. Becoming a parent is a game changer. There are new requirements, new rules, new milestones, new joys, new sorrows, and on and on. And you learn about it all as you go along via trial and error. Googling helps, too.

Being a parent is an incredible experience.

Categories
meta

Project AminOwings. B-Day 2009 rapidly approaching!

Above is a logo I designed for “Project Aminowings.” Early in the pregnancy, we were calling the baby “The Project” since we didn’t have a name. The little amino acid with wings logo is something I had mocked up about five years ago prior to Sonal and me getting married—I always liked the combination of “aminowings” because it forced the correct pronunciation of Sonal’s last name and the correct spelling of my last name. Alas, Sonal just took on “Owings” when we got married (oh well! I offered!). I made it an “official” logo this year. And of course, I’ve ordered a tshirt of it from spreadshirt.com (just received it but there are some color problems I’m trying to work out with spreadshirt customer service).

Here’s the front:

The actual due date is August 7, 2009, though only 5% of babies are born on their due date (can’t recall where I got that stat, sorry). The nametag is blank because Sonal and I haven’t told anyone our name. We’re expecting a girl (knock on wood). We’re excited and based on an examination yesterday by a midwife at Northside hospital, the “Project” may come a bit early or on time, which would be a surprise since everyone says your first is usually up to a week late. Of course, that could still happen.

So we’re basically on “high alert” at this point. Hard to believe we’re about to be parents.

Life changes.

Categories
linked down

“Almost no one regrets having kids.”

http://econlog.econlib.or…ts_and_buy.html

Via a shared Google Reader item from Patri Friedman came this article on EconLog, Parents and Buyer’s Remorse: Lessons from the Lost Newsday Study. The referenced study was done in 1976 on a random sample of Americans “and found that 91% of parents did not have buyer’s remorse.”

Since I am expecting to be a dad in August, this kind of information is good to know. The EconLog post also references a study done in 2003 that indicates that fully 2/3 of non-parents wish they had kids!

This makes complete evolutionary sense—we are biologically programmed to want to reproduce. Beyond it being in our DNA, family is one of the more lasting wealths you can create.

Here’s the relevant data from the post:

What does the Newsday survey say?  First and foremost, the hearsay about the rarity of regret is accurate.  In fact, since some people didn’t answer this question, fully 93% of the actual responses were positive.  Other interesting results:

  • Women had more regret than men: 9% of women had buyer’s remorse, versus just 5% of men.  While many will say this result is obvious, remember that there is virtually no gender gap on “desired family size.”
  • Young (under 25) and old (65+) had the most regret: 15% and 13% respectively.
  • Blacks had much more regret: 19%, versus 6% for whites.
  • Regret sharply falls as income rises.  13% with income under $5000 (in
    1976 dollars) had buyer’s remorse, versus only 4% with incomes of $25k+.
  • Regret sharply falls as education rises.  12% of drop-outs admitted regret, versus 3% of college grads.

…

Other interesting results: The survey also asked people how many children they would have if they had a “do-over.”  If you read the table, it looks like there is a moderate tendency to want more: Respondents have 2.66 but want 2.84.

…

OK, so what’s the take-away?

First of all, even though child-free advocates continue to cite the famous Ann Landers survey, it was discredited over thirty years ago. Almost no one regrets having kids.

Second, you might dismiss the Newsday results as mere status quo bias – “Everyone thinks that whatever they did was for the best.” But you probably shouldn’t. The 2003 Gallup study finds that about two-thirds of childless people over 40 wish they had kids. Buyer’s remorse is rare; non-buyer’s remorse is common.